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The earlier part of this book appeared in the form of five articles
which came out in the "New Witness" at the crisis of the recent
controversy in the Press on the subject of divorce. Crude and sketchy
as they confessedly were, they had a certain rude plan of their own,
which I find it very difficult to recast even in order to expand. I
have therefore decided to reprint the original articles as they stood,
save for a few introductory words; and then, at the risk of
repetition, to add a few further chapters, explaining more fully any
conceptions that may seem to have been too crudely assumed or
dismissed. I have set forth the original matter as it appeared, under
a general heading, without dividing it into chapters.
It is futile to talk of reform without reference to form. To take a
case from my own taste and fancy, there is nothing I feel to be so
beautiful and wonderful as a window. All casements are magic
casements, whether they open on the foam or the front-garden; they lie
close to the ultimate mystery and paradox of limitation and liberty.
But if I followed my instinct towards an infinite number of windows,
it would end in having no walls. It would also (it may be added
incidentally) end in having no windows either; for a window makes a
picture by making a picture-frame. But there is a simpler way of
stating my more simple and fatal error. It is that I have wanted a
window, without considering whether I wanted a house. Now many appeals
are being made to us to-day on behalf of that light and liberty that
might well be symbolised by windows; especially as so many of them
concern the enlightenment and liberation of the house, in the sense of
the home. Many quite disinterested people urge many quite reasonable
considerations in the case of divorce, as a type of domestic
liberation; but in the journalistic and general discussion of the
matter there is far too much of the mind that works backwards and at
random, in the manner of all windows and no walls. Such people say
they want divorce, without asking themselves whether they want
marriage. Even in order to be divorced it has generally been found
necessary to go through the preliminary formality of being married;
and unless the nature of this initial act be considered, we might as
well be discussing haircutting for the bald or spectacles for the
blind. To be divorced is to be in the literal sense unmarried; and
there is no sense in a thing being undone when we do not know if it is
done.
There is perhaps no worse advice, nine times out of ten, than the
advice to do the work that's nearest. It is especially bad when it
means, as it generally does, removing the obstacle that's nearest. It
means that men are not to behave like men but like mice; who nibble at
the thing that's nearest. The man, like the mouse, undermines what he
cannot understand. Because he himself bumps into a thing, he calls it
the nearest obstacle; though the obstacle may happen to he the pillar
that holds up the whole roof over his head. He industriously removes
the obstacle; and in return the, obstacle removes him, and much more
valuable things than he. This opportunism is perhaps the most
unpractical thing in this highly unpractical world. People talk
vaguely against destructive criticism; but what is the matter with
this criticism is not that it destroys, but that it does not
criticise. It is destruction without design. It is taking a complex
machine to pieces bit by bit, in any order, without even knowing what
the machine is for. And if a man deals with a deadly dynamic machine
on the principle of touching the knob that's nearest, he will find out
the defects of that cheery philosophy. Now leaving many sincere and
serious critics of modern marriage on one side for the moment, great
masses of modern men and women, who write and talk about marriage, are
thus nibbling blindly at it like an army of mice. When the reformers
propose, for instance, that divorce should be obtainable after an
absence of three years (the absence actually taken for granted in the
first military arrangements of the late European War) their readers
and supporters could seldom give any sort of logical reason for the
period being three years, and not three months or three minutes. They
are like people who should say "Give me three feet of dog"; and not
care where the cut came. Such persons fail to see a dog as an organic
entity; in other words, they cannot make head or tail of it. And the
chief thing to say about such reformers of marriage is that they
cannot make head or tail of it. They do not know what it is, or what
it is meant to be, or what its supporters suppose it to be; they never
look at it, even when they are inside it. They do the work that's
nearest; which is poking holes in the bottom of a boat under the
impression that they are digging in a garden. This question of what a
thing is, and whether it is a garden or a boat, appears to them
abstract and academic. They have no notion of how large is the idea
they attack; or how relatively small appear the holes that they pick
in it.
Thus, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, an intelligent man in other matters,
says that there is only a "theological" opposition to divorce, and
that it is entirely founded on "certain texts" in the Bible about
marriages. This is exactly as if he said that a belief in the
brotherhood of men was only founded on certain texts in the Bible,
about all men being the children of Adam and Eve. Millions of peasants
and plain people all over the world assume marriage to be static,
without having ever clapped eyes on any text. Numbers of more modern
people, especially after the recent experiments in America, think
divorce is a social disease, without having ever bothered about any
text. It may be maintained that even in these, or in any one, the idea
of marriage is ultimately mystical; and the same may be maintained
about the idea of brotherhood. It is obvious that a husband and wife
are not visibly one flesh, in the sense of being one quadruped. It is
equally obvious that Paderewski and Jack Johnson are not twins, and
probably have not played together at their mother's knee. There is
indeed a very important admission, or addition, to be realised here.
What is true is this: that if the nonsense of Nietzsche or some such
sophist submerged current culture, so that it was the fashion to deny
the duties of fraternity; then indeed it might be found that the group
which still affirmed fraternity was the original group in whose sacred
books was the text about Adam and Eve. Suppose some Prussian professor
has opportunely discovered that Germans and lesser men are
respectively descended from two such very different monkeys that they
are in no sense brothers, but barely cousins (German) any number of
times removed. And suppose he proceeds to remove them even further
with a hatchet, suppose he bases on this a repetition of the conduct
of Cain, saying not so much "Am I my brother's keeper?" as "Is he
really my brother?" And suppose this higher philosophy of the hatchet
becomes prevalent in colleges and cultivated circles, as even more
foolish philosophies have done. Then I agree it probably will be the
Christian, the man who preserves the text about Cain, who will
continue to assert that he is still the professor's brother; that he
is still the professor's keeper. He may possibly add that, in his
opinion, the professor seems to require a keeper.
And that is doubtless the situation in the controversies about
divorce and marriage to-day. It is the Christian church which
continues to hold strongly, when the world for some reason has
weakened on it, what many others hold at other times. But even then it
is barely picking up the shreds and scraps of the subject to talk
about a reliance on texts. The vital point in the comparison is this:
that human brotherhood means a whole view of life, held in the light
of life, and defended, rightly or wrongly, by constant appeals to
every aspect of life. The religion that holds it most strongly will
hold it when nobody else holds it; that is quite true, and that some
of us may be so perverse as to think a point in favour of the
religion. But anybody who holds it at all will hold it as a
philosophy, not hung on one text but on a hundred truths. Fraternity
may be a sentimental metaphor; I may be suffering a delusion when I
hail a Montenegrin peasant as my long lost brother. As a fact, I have
my own suspicions about which of us it is that has got lost. But my
delusion is not a deduction from one text, or from twenty; it is the
expression of a relation that to me at least seems a reality. And what
I should say about the idea of a brother, I should say about the idea
of a wife.
It is supposed to be very unbusinesslike to begin at the beginning.
It is called "abstract and academic principles with which we English,
etc., etc." It is still in some strange way considered unpractical to
open up inquiries about anything by asking what it is. I happen to
have, however, a fairly complete contempt for that sort of
practicality; for I know that it is not even practical. My ideal
business man would not be one who planked down fifty pounds and said
"Here is hard cash; I am a plain man; it is quite indifferent to me
whether I am paying a debt, or giving alms to a beggar, or buying a
wild bull or a bathing machine." Despite the infectious heartiness of
his tone, I should still, in considering the hard cash, say (like a
cabman) "What's this?" I should continue to insist, priggishly, that
it was a highly practical point what the money was; what it was
supposed to stand for, to aim at or to declare; what was the nature of
the transaction; or, in short, what the devil the man supposed he was
doing. I shall therefore begin by asking, in an equally mystical
manner, what in the name of God and the angels a man getting married
supposes he is doing. I shall begin by asking what marriage is; and
the mere question will probably reveal that the act itself, good or
bad, wise or foolish, is of a certain kind; that it is not an inquiry
or an experiment or an accident; it may probably dawn on us that it is
a promise. It can be more fully defined by saying it is a vow.
Many will immediately answer that it is a rash vow. I am content
for the moment to reply that all vows are rash vows. I am not now
defending but defining wows; I am pointing out that this is a
discussion about vows; first, of whether there ought to be vows; and
second, of what vows ought to be. Ought a man to break a promise?
Ought a man to make a promise? These are philosophic questions; but
the philosophic peculiarity of divorce and re-marriage, as compared
with free love and no marriage, is that a man breaks and makes a
promise at the same moment. It is a highly German philosophy; and
recalls the way in which the enemy wishes to celebrate his successful
destruction of all treaties by signing some more. If I were breaking a
promise, I would do it without promises. But I am very far from
minimising the momentous and disputable nature of the vow itself. I
shall try to show, in a further article, that this rash and romantic
operation is the only furnace from which can come the plain hardware
of humanity, the cast-iron resistance of citizenship or the cold steel
of common sense; but I am not denying that the furnace is a fire. The
vow is a violent and unique thing; though there have been many besides
the marriage vow; vows of chivalry, vows of poverty, vows of celibacy,
pagan as well as Christian. But modern fashion has rather fallen out
of the habit; and men miss the type for the lack of the parallels. The
shortest way of putting the problem is to ask whether being free
includes being free to bind oneself. For the vow is a tryst with
oneself.
I may be misunderstood if I say, for brevity, that marriage is an
affair of honour. The sceptic will be delighted to assent, by saying
it is a fight. And so it is, if only with oneself; but the point here
is that it necessarily has the touch of the heroic, in which virtue
can be translated by virtus. Now about fighting, in its nature, there
is an implied infinity or at least a potential infinity. I mean that
loyalty in war is loyalty in defeat or even disgrace; it is due to the
flag precisely at the moment when the flag nearly falls. We do already
apply this to the flag of the nation; and the question is whether it
is wise or unwise to apply it to the flag of the family. Of course, it
is tenable that we should apply it to neither; that misgovernment in
the nation or misery in the citizen would make the desertion of the
flag an act of reason and not treason. I will only say here that, if
this were really the limit of national loyalty, some of us would have
deserted our nation long ago.
To the two or three articles appearing here on this subject I have
given the title of the Superstition of Divorce; and the title is not
taken at random. While free love seems to me a heresy, divorce does
really seem to me a superstition. It is not only more of a
superstition than free love, but much more of a superstition than
strict sacramental marriage; and this point can hardly be made too
plain. It is the partisans of divorce, not the defenders of marriage,
who attach a stiff and senseless sanctity to a mere ceremony, apart
from the meaning of the ceremony. It is our opponents, and not we, who
hope to be saved by the letter of ritual, instead of the spirit of
reality. It is they who hold that vow or violation, loyalty or
disloyalty, can all be disposed of by a mysterious and magic rite,
performed first in a law-court and then in a church or a registry
office. There is little difference between the two parts of the
ritual; except that the law court is much more ritualistic. But the
plainest parallels will show anybody that all this is sheer barbarous
credulity. It may or may not be superstition for a man to believe he
must kiss the Bible to show he is telling the truth. It is certainly
the most grovelling superstition for him to believe that, if he kisses
the Bible, anything he says will come true. It would surely be the
blackest and most benighted Bible-worship to suggest that the mere
kiss on the mere book alters the moral quality of perjury. Yet this is
precisely what is implied in saying that formal re-marriage alters the
moral quality of conjugal infidelity. It may have been a mark of the
Dark Ages that Harold should swear on a relic, though he were
afterwards forsworn. But surely those ages would have been at their
darkest, if he had been content to be sworn on a relic and forsworn on
another relic. Yet this is the new altar these reformers would erect
for us, out of the mouldy and meaning less relics of their dead law
and their dying religion.
Now we, at any rate, are talking about an idea, a thing of the
intellect and the soul; which we feel to be unalterable by legal
antics. We are talking about the idea of loyalty; perhaps a
fantastic, perhaps only an unfashionable idea, but one we can explain
and defend as an idea. Now I have already pointed out that most sane
men do admit our ideal in such a case as patriotism or public spirit;
the necessity of saving the state to which we belong. The patriot may
revile but must not renounce his country; he must curse it to cure it,
but not to wither it up. The old pagan citizens felt thus about the
city; and modern nationalists feel thus about the nation. But even
mere modern internationalists feel it about something; if it is only
the nation of mankind. Even the humanitarian does not become a
misanthrope and live in a monkey-house. Even a disappointed
Collectivist or Communist does not retire into the exclusive society
of beavers, because beavers are all communists of the most
class-conscious solidarity. He admits the necessity of clinging to his
fellow creatures, and begging them to abandon the use of the
possessive pronoun; heart-breaking as his efforts must seem to him
after a time. Even a Pacifist does not prefer rats to men, on the
ground that the rat community is so pure from the taint of Jingoism as
always to leave the sinking ship. In short, everybody recognises that
there is some ship, large and small, which he ought not to leave, even
when he thinks it is sinking.
We may take it then that there are institutions to which we are
attached finally; just as there are others to which we are attached
temporarily. We go from shop to shop trying to get what we want; but
we do not go from nation to nation doing this; unless we belong to a
certain group now heading very straight for Pogroms. In the first case
it is the threat that we shall withdraw our custom; in the second it
is the threat that we shall never withdraw ourselves; that we shall be
part of the institution to the last. The time when the shop loses its
customers is the time when the city needs its citizens; but it needs
them as critics who will always remain to criticise. I need not now
emphasise the deadly need of this double energy of internal reform and
external defence; the whole towering tragedy which has eclipsed our
earth in our time is but one terrific illustration of it. The
hammer-strokes are coming thick and fast now; and filling the world
with infernal thunders; and there is still the iron sound of something
unbreakable deeper and louder than all the things that break. We may
curse the kings, we may distrust the captains, we may murmur at the
very existence of the armies; but we know that in the darkest days
that may come to us, no man will desert the flag.
Now when we pass from loyalty to the nation to loyalty to the
family, there can be no doubt about the first and plainest difference.
The difference is that the family is a thing far more free. The vow is
a voluntary loyalty; and the marriage vow is marked among ordinary
oaths of allegiance by the fact that the allegiance is also a choice.
The man is not only a citizen of the city, but also the founder and
builder of the city. He is not only a soldier serving the colours, but
he has himself artistically selected and combined the colours, like
the colours of an individual dress. If it be admissible to ask him to
be true to the commonwealth that has made him, it is at least not more
illiberal to ask him to be true to the commonwealth he has himself
made. If civic fidelity be, as it is, a necessity, it is also in a
special sense a constraint. The old joke against patriotism, the
Gilbertian irony, congratulated the Englishman on his fine and
fastidious taste in being born in England. It made a plausible point
in saying "For he might have been a Russian"; though indeed we have
liked to see some persons who seemed to think they could be Russians
when the fancy took them. If commonsense considers even such
involuntary loyalty natural, we can hardly wonder if it thinks
voluntary loyalty still more natural. And the small state founded on
the sexes is at once the most voluntary and the most natural of all
self-governing states. It is not true of Mr. Brown that he might have
been a Russian; but it may be true of Mrs. Brown that she might have
been a Robinson.
Now it is not at all hard to see why this small community, so
specially free touching its cause, should yet be specially bound
touching its effects. It is not hard to see why the vow made most
freely is the vow kept most firmly. There are attached to it, by the
nature of things, consequences so tremendous that no contract can
offer any comparison. There is no contract, unless it be what said to
be signed in blood, that can call spirits from the vastly deep, or
bring cherubs (or goblins) to inhabit a small modern villa. There is
no stroke of the pen which creates real bodies and souls, or makes the
characters in a novel come to life. The institution that puzzles
intellectuals so much can be explained by the mere material fact
(perceptible even to intellectuals) that children are, generally
speaking, younger than their parents. "Till death do us part" is not
an irrational formula, for those will almost certainly die before they
see more than half of the amazing (or alarming) thing they have done.
Such is, in a curt and crude outline, this obvious thing for those
to whom it is not obvious. Now I know there are thinking men among
those who would tamper with it; and I shall expect some of these to
reply to my questions But for the moment I only ask this question:
whether the parliamentary and journalistic divorce movement shows even
a shadowy trace of these fundamental truths, regarded as tests. Does
it even discuss the nature of a vow, the limits and objects of
loyalty, the survival of the family as a small and free state? The
writers are content to say that Mr. Brown is uncomfortable with Mrs.
Brown, and the last emancipation, for separated couples, seems only to
mean that he is still uncomfortable without Mrs. Brown. These are not
days in which being uncomfortable is felt as the final test of public
action. For the rest, the reformers show statistically that families
are in fact so scattered in our industrial anarchy, that they may as
well abandon hope of finding their way home again. I am acquainted
with that argument for making bad worse and I see it everywhere
leading to slavery. Because London Bridge is broken down, we must
assume that bridges are not meant to bridge. Because London
commercialism and capitalism have copied hell, we are to continue to
copy them. Anyhow, some will retain the conviction that the ancient
bridge built between the two towers of sex is the worthiest of the
great works of the earth.
It is exceedingly characteristic of the dreary decades before the
War that the forms of freedom in which they seemed to specialise were
suicide and divorce. I am not at the moment pronouncing on the moral
problem of either; I am merely noting, as signs of those times, those
two true or false counsels of despair; the end of life and the end of
love. Other forms of freedom were being increasingly curtailed.
Freedom indeed was the one thing that progressives and conservatives
alike contemned. Socialists were largely concerned to prevent strikes,
by State arbitration; that is, by adding another rich man to give the
casting vote between rich and poor. Even in claiming what they called
the right to work they tacitly surrendered the right to leave off
working. Tories were preaching conscription, not so much to defend the
independence of England as to destroy the independence of Englishmen.
Liberals, of course, were chiefly interested in eliminating liberty,
especially touching beer and betting. It was wicked to fight, and
unsafe even to argue; for citing any certain and contemporary fact
might land one in a libel action. As all these doors were successfully
shut in our faces along the chilly and cheerless corridor of progress
(with its glazed tiles) the doors of death and divorce alone stood
open, or rather opened wider and wider. I do not expect the exponents
of divorce to admit any similarity in the two things; yet the passing
parallel is not irrelevant. It may enable them to realise the limits
within which our moral instincts can, even for the sake of argument,
treat this desperate remedy as a normal object of desire. Divorce is
for us at best a failure, of which we are more concerned to find and
cure the cause than to complete the effects; and we regard a system
that produces many divorces as we do a system that drives men to drown
and shoot themselves. For instance, it is perhaps the commonest
complaint against the existing law that the poor cannot afford to
avail themselves of it. It is an argument to which normally I should
listen with special sympathy. But while I should condemn the law being
a luxury, my first thought will naturally be that divorce and death
are only luxuries in a rather rare sense. I should not primarily
condole with the poor man on the high price of prussic acid; or on the
fact that all precipices of suitable suicidal height were the private
property of the landlords. There are other high prices and high
precipices I should attack first. I should admit in the abstract that
what is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander; that what is good
for the rich is good for the poor; but my first and strongest
impression would be that prussic acid sauce is not good for anybody. I
fear I should, on the impulse of the moment, pull a poor clerk or
artisan back by the coat-tails, if he were jumping over Shakespeare's
Cliff, even if Dover sands were strewn with the remains of the dukes
and bankers who had already taken the plunge.
But in one respect, I will heartily concede, the cult of divorce
has differed from the mere cult of death. The cult of death is dead
Those I knew in my youth as young pessimists are now aged optimists.
And, what is more to the point at present, even when it was living it
was limited; it was a thing of one clique in one class. We know the
rule in the old comedy, that when the heroine went mad in white satin,
the confidante went mad in white muslin. But when, in some tragedy of
the artistic temperament, the painter committed suicide in velvet, it
was never implied that the plumber must commit suicide in corduroy. It
was never held that Hedda Walter's housemaid must die in torments on
the carpet (trying as her term of service may have been); or that Mrs.
Tanqueray's butler must play the Roman fool and die on his own carving
knife. That particular form of playing the fool, Roman or otherwise,
was an oligarchic privilege in the decadent epoch; and even as such
has largely passed with that epoch. Pessimism, which was never
popular, is no longer even fashionable. A far different fate has
awaited the other fashion; the other somewhat dismal form of freedom.
If divorce is a disease, it is no longer to be a fashionable disease
like appendicitis; it is to be made an epidemic like small-pox. As we
have already seen papers and public men to-day make a vast parade of
the necessity of setting the poor man free to get a divorce. Now why
are they so mortally anxious that he should be free to get a divorce,
and not in the least anxious that he should be free to get anything
else? Why are the same people happy, nay almost hilarious, when he
gets a divorce, who are horrified when he gets a drink? What becomes
of his money, what becomes of his children, where he works, when he
ceases to work, are less and less under his personal control. Labour
Exchanges, Insurance Cards, Welfare Work, and a hundred forms of
police inspection and supervision have combined for good or evil to
fix him more and more strictly to a certain place in society. He is
less and less allowed to go to look for a new job; why is he allowed
to go to look for a new wife? He is more and more compelled to
recognise a Moslem code about liquor; why is it made so easy for him
to escape from his old Christian code about sex? What is the meaning
of this mysterious immunity, this special permit for adultery; and why
is running away with his neighbour's wife to be the only exhilaration
still left open to him? Why must he love as he pleases; when he may
not even live as he pleases?
The answer is, I regret to say, that this social campaign, in most
though by no means all of its most prominent campaigners, relies in
this matter on a very smug and pestilent piece of chalk. There are
some advocates of democratic divorce who are really advocates of
general democratic freedom; but they are the exceptions; I might say,
with all respect, that they are the dupes. The omnipresence of the
thing in the press and in political society is due to a motive
precisely opposite to the motive professed. The modern rulers, who are
simply the rich men, are really quite consistent in their attitude to
the poor man. It is the same spirit which takes away his children
under the pretence of order, which takes away his wife under the
pretence of liberty. That which wishes, in the words of the comic
song, to break up the happy home, is primarily anxious not to break up
the much more unhappy factory. Capitalism, of course, is at war with
the family, for the same reason which has led to its being at war with
the Trade Union. This indeed is the only sense in which it is true
that capitalism is connected with individualism. Capitalism believes
in collectivism for itself and individualism for its enemies. It
desires its victims to be individuals, or (in other words) to be
atoms. For the word atom, in its clearest meaning (which is none too
clear) might be translated as "individual." If there be any bond, if
there be any brotherhood, if there be any class loyalty or domestic
discipline, by which the poor can help the poor, these emancipators
will certainly strive to loosen that bond or lift that discipline in
the most liberal fashion. If there be such a brotherhood, these
individualists will redistribute it in the form of individuals; or in
other words smash it to atoms.
The masters of modern plutocracy know what they are about. They are
making no mistake; they can be cleared of the slander of
inconsistency. A very profound and precise instinct has let them to
single out the human household as the chief obstacle to their inhuman
progress. Without the family we are helpless before the State, which
in our modern case is the Servile State. To use a military metaphor,
the family is the only formation in which the charge of the rich can
be repulsed. It is a force that forms twos as soldiers form fours;
and, in every peasant country, has stood in the square house or the
square plot of land as infantry have stood in squares against cavalry.
How this force operates this, and why, I will try to explain in the
last of these articles. But it is when it is most nearly ridden down
by the horsemen of pride and privilege, as in Poland or Ireland, when
the battle grows most desperate and the hope most dark, that men begin
to understand why that wild oath in its beginnings was flung beyond
the bonds of the world; and what would seem as passing as a vision is
made permanent as a vow.
There has long been a curiously consistent attempt to conceal the
fact that France is a Christian country. There have been Frenchmen in
the plot, no doubt, and no doubt there have been Frenchmen — though I
have myself only found Englishmen — in the derivative attempt to
conceal the fact that Balzac was a Christian writer. I began to read
Balzac long after I had read the admirers of Balzac; and they had
never given me a hint of this truth. I had read that his books were
bound in yellow and "quite impudently French"; though I may have been
cloudy about why being French should be impudent in a Frenchman. I had
read the truer description of "the grimy wizard of the Comedie
humaine," and have lived to learn the truth of it; Balzac certainly is
a genius of the type of that artist he himself describes, who could
draw a broomstick so that one knew it had swept the room after a
murder. The furniture of Balzac is more alive than the figures of many
dramas. For this I was prepared; but not for a certain spiritual
assumption which I recognised at once as a historical phenomenon. The
morality of a great writer is not the morality he teaches, but the
morality he takes for granted. The Catholic type of Christian ethics
runs through Balzac's books, exactly as the Puritan type of Christian
ethics runs through Bunyan's books What his professed opinions were I
do not know, any more than I know Shakespeare's; but I know that both
those great creators of a multitudinous world made it, as compared
with other and later writers, on the same fundamental moral plan as
the universe of Dante. There can be no doubt about it for any one who
can apply as a test the truth I have mentioned; that the fundamental
things in a man are not the things he explains, but rather the things
he forgets to explain. But here and there Balzac does explain; and
with that intellectual concentration Mr. George Moore has acutely
observed in that novelist when he is a theorist. And the other day I
found in one of Balzac's novels this passage; which, whether or no it
would precisely hit Mr. George Moore's mood at this moment, strikes me
as a perfect prophecy of this epoch, and might also be a motto for
this book: "With the solidarity of the family society has lost that
elemental force which Montesquieu defined and called 'honour.' Society
has isolated its members the better to govern them, and has divided in
order to weaken."
Throughout our youth and the years before the War, the current
criticism followed Ibsen in describing the domestic system as a doll's
house and the domestic woman as a doll. Mr. Bernard Shaw varied the
metaphor by saying that mere custom kept the woman in the home as it
keeps the parrot in the cage; and the plays and tales of the period
made vivid sketches of a woman who also resembled a parrot in other
particulars, rich in raiment, shrill in accent and addicted to saying
over and over again what she had been taught to say. Mr. Granville
Barker, the spiritual child of Mr. Bernard Shaw, commented in his
clever play of "The Voysey Inheritance" on tyranny, hypocrisy and
boredom, as the constituent elements of a "happy English home."
Leaving the truth of this aside for the moment, it will be well to
insist that the conventionality thus criticised would be even more
characteristic of a happy French home. It is not the Englishman's
house, but the Frenchman's house that is his castle. It might be
further added, touching the essential ethical view of the sexes at
least, that the Irishman's house is his castle; though it has been for
some centuries a besieged castle. Anyhow, those conventions which were
remarked as making domesticity dull, narrow and unnaturally meek and
submissive, are particularly powerful among the Irish and the French.
From this it will surely be easy, for any lucid and logical thinker,
to deduce the fact that the French are dull and narrow, and that the
Irish are unnaturally meek and submissive. Mr. Bernard Shaw, being an
Irishman who lives among English men, may be conveniently taken as the
type of the difference; and it will no doubt be found that the
political friends of Mr. Shaw, among Englishmen, will be of a wilder
revolutionary type than those whom he would have found among
Irishmen. We are in a position to compare the meekness of the Fenians
with the fury of the Fabians. This deadening monogamic ideal may even,
in a larger sense define and distinguish all the flat subserviency of
Clare from all the flaming revolt of Clapham. Nor need we now look far
to understand why revolutions have been unknown in the history of
France; or why they happen so persistently in the vaguer politics of
England. This rigidity and respectability must surely be the
explanation of all that incapacity for any civil experiment or
explosion, which has always marked that sleepy hamlet of very private
houses which we call the city of Paris. But the same things are true
not only of Parisians but of peasants; they are even true of other
peasants in the great Alliance. Students of Serbian traditions tell us
that the peasant literature lays a special and singular curse on the
violation of marriage; and this may well explain the prim and sheepish
pacifism complained of in that people.
In plain words, there is clearly something wrong in the calculation
by which it was proved that a housewife must be as much a servant as a
housemaid; or which exhibited the domesticated man as being as gentle
as the primrose or as conservative as the Primrose League. It is
precisely those who have been conservative about the family who have
been revolutionary about the state. Those who are blamed for the
bigotry or bourgeois smugness of their marriage conventions are
actually those blamed for the restlessness and violence of their
political reforms. Nor is there seriously any difficulty in
discovering the cause of this. It is simply that in such a society the
government, in dealing with the family, deals with something almost as
permanent and self-renewing as itself There can be a continuous family
policy, like a continuous foreign policy. In peasant countries the
family fights, it may almost be said that the farm fights. I do not
mean merely that it riots in evil and exceptional times; though this
is not unimportant. It was a savage but a sane feature when, in the
Irish evictions, the women poured hot water from the windows; it was
part of a final falling back on private tools as public weapons. That
sort of thing is not only war to the knife, but almost war to the fork
and spoon. It was in this grim sense perhaps that Parnell, in that
mysterious pun, said that Kettle was a household word in Ireland (it
certainly ought to be after its subsequent glories), and in a more
general sense it is certain that meddling with the housewife will
ultimately mean getting into hot water. But it is not of such crises
of bodily struggle that I speak, but of a steady and peaceful pressure
from below of a thousand families upon the framework of government.
For this a certain spirit of defence and enclosure is essential; and
even feudalism was right in feeling that any such affair of honour
must be a family affair. It was a true artistic instinct that pictured
the pedigree on a coat that protects the body. The free peasant has
arms if he has not armorial bearings. He has not an escutcheon; but he
has a shield. Nor do I see why, in a freer and happier society than
the present, or even the past, it should not be a blazoned shield. For
that is true of pedigree which is true of property; the wrong is not
in its being imposed on men, but rather in its being denied to them.
Too much capitalism does not mean too many capitalists, but too few
capitalists; and so aristocracy sins not in planting a family tree,
but in not planting a family forest.
Anyhow, it is found in practice that the domestic citizen can stand
a siege, even by the State; because he has those who will stand by him
through thick and thin — especially thin. Now those who hold that the
State can be made fit to own all and administer all, can consistently
disregard this argument; but it may be said with all respect that the
world is more and more disregarding them. If we could find a perfect
machine, and a perfect man to work it, it might be a good argument for
State Socialism, though an equally good argument for personal
despotism. But most of us, I fancy, are now agreed that something of
that social pressure from below which we call freedom is vital to the
health of the State; and this it is which cannot be fully exercised by
individuals, but only by groups and traditions. Such groups have been
many; there have been monasteries; there may be guilds; but there is
only one type among them which all human beings have a spontaneous and
omnipresent inspiration to build for themselves; and this type is the
family.
I had intended this article to be the last of those outlining the
elements of this debate; but I shall have to add a short concluding
section on the way in which all this is missed in the practical (or
rather unpractical) proposals about divorce. Here I will only say that
they suffer from the modern and morbid weaknesses of always
sacrificing the normal to the abnormal. As a fact the "tyranny,
hypocrisy and boredom" complained of are not domesticity, but the
decay of domesticity. The case of that particular complaint, in Mr.
Granville Barker's play, is itself a proof. The whole point of "The
Voysey Inheritance" was that there was no Voysey inheritance. The only
heritage of that family was a highly dishonourable debt. Naturally
their family affections had decayed when their whole ideal of property
and probity had decayed; and there was little love as well as little
honour among thieves. It has yet to be proved that they would have
been as much bored if they had had a positive and not a negative
heritage; and had worked a farm instead of a fraud. And the experience
of mankind points the other way.
I have touched before now on a famous or infamous Royalist who
suggested that the people should eat grass; an unfortunate remark
perhaps for a Royalist to make; since the regimen is only recorded of
a Royal Personage. But there was certainly a simplicity in the
solution worthy of a sultan or even a savage chief; and it is this
touch of autocratic innocence on which I have mainly insisted touching
the social reforms of our day, and especially the social reform known
as divorce. I am primarily more concerned with the arbitrary method
than with the anarchic result. Very much as the old tyrant would turn
any number of men out to grass, so the new tyrant would turn any
number of women into grass-widows. Anyhow, to vary the legendary
symbolism, it never seems to occur to the king in this fairy tale that
the gold crown on his head is a less, and not a more, sacred and
settled ornament than the gold ring on the woman's finger. This change
is being achieved by the summary and even secret government which we
now suffer; and this would be the first point against it, even if it
were really an emancipation; and it is only in form an emancipation. I
will not anticipate the details of its defence, which can be offered
by others, but I will here conclude for the present by roughly
suggesting the practical defences of divorce, as generally given just
at present, under four heads. And I will only ask the reader to note
that they all have one thing in common; the fact that each argument is
also used for all that social reform which plain men are already
calling slavery.
First, it is very typical of the latest practical proposals that
they are concerned with the case of those who are already separated,
and the steps they must take to be divorced. There is a spirit
penetrating all our society to-day by which the exception is allowed
to alter the rule; the exile to deflect patriotism, the orphan to
depose parenthood, and even the widow or, in this case as we have seen
the grass widow, to destroy the position of the wife. There is a sort
of symbol of this tendency in that mysterious and unfortunate nomadic
nation which has been allowed to alter so many things, from a crusade
in Russia to a cottage in South Bucks. We have been told to treat the
wandering Jew as a pilgrim, while we still treat the wandering
Christian as a vagabond. And yet the latter is at least trying to get
home, like Ulysses; whereas the former is, if anything, rather fleeing
from home, like Cain. He who is detached, disgruntled, non descript,
intermediate is everywhere made the excuse for altering what is
common, corporate, traditional and popular. And the alteration is
always for the worse. The mermaid never becomes more womanly, but only
more fishy. The centaur never becomes more manly, but only more horsy.
The Jew cannot really internationalise Christendom; he can only
denationalise Christendom. The proletarian does not find it easy to
become a small proprietor; he is finding it far easier to become a
slave. So the unfortunate man, who cannot tolerate the woman he has
chosen from all the women in the world, is not encouraged to return to
her and tolerate her, but encouraged to choose another woman whom he
may in due course refuse to tolerate. And in all these cases the
argument is the same; that the man in the intermediate state is
unhappy. Probably he is unhappy, since he is abnormal; but the point
is that he is permitted to loosen the universal bond which has kept
millions of others normal. Because he has himself got into a hole, he
is allowed to burrow in it like a rabbit and undermine a whole
countryside.
Next we have, as we always have touching such crude experiments, an
argument from the example of other countries, and especially of new
countries. Thus the Eugenists tell me solemnly that there have been
very successful Eugenic experiments in America. And they rigidly
retain their solemnity (while refusing with many rebukes to believe in
mine) when I tell them that one of the Eugenic experiments in America
is a chemical experiment; which consists of changing a black man into
the allotropic form of white ashes. It is really an exceedingly
Eugenic experiment; since its chief object is to discourage an
inter-racial mixture of blood which is not desired. But I do not like
this American experiment, however American; and I trust and believe
that it is not typically American at all. It represents, I conceive,
only one element in the complexity of the great democracy; and goes
along with other evil elements; so that I am not at all surprised that
the same strange social sections, which permit a human being to be
burned alive, also permit the exalted science of Eugenics. It is the
same in the milder matter of liquor laws; and we are told that certain
rather crude colonials have established prohibition Laws, which they
try to evade; just as we are told they have established divorce laws,
which they are now trying to repeal. For in this case of divorce, at
least, the argument from distant precedents has recoiled crushingly
upon itself. There is already an agitation for less divorce in
America, even while there is an agitation for more divorce in England.
Again, when an argument is based on a need of population, it will
be well if those supporting it realise where it may carry them. It is
exceedingly doubtful whether population is one of the advantages of
divorce; but there is no doubt that it is one of the advantages of
polygamy. It is already used in Germany as an argument for polygamy.
But the very word will teach us to look even beyond Germany for
something yet more remote and repulsive. Mere population, along with a
sort of polygamous anarchy, will not appear even as a practical ideal
to any one who considers, for instance, how consistently Europe has
held the headship of the human race, in face of the chaotic myriads of
Asia. If population were the chief test of progress and efficiency,
China would long ago have proved itself the most progressive and
efficient state. De Quincey summed up the whole of that enormous
situation in a sentence which is perhaps more impressive and even
appalling than all the perspectives of orient architecture and vistas
of opium vision in the midst of which it comes. "Man is a weed in
those regions." Many Europeans, fearing for the garden of the world,
have fancied that in some future fatality those weeds may spring up
and choke it. But no Europeans have really wished that the flowers
should become like the weeds. Even if it were true, therefore, that
the loosening of the tie necessarily increased the population; even if
this were not contradicted, as it is, by the facts of many countries,
we should have strong historical grounds for not accepting the
deduction. We should still be suspicious of the paradox that we may
encourage large families by abolishing the family.
Lastly, I believe it is part of the defence of the new proposal
that even its defenders have found its principle a little too crude. I
hear they have added provisions which modify the principle; and which
seem to be in substance, first, that a man shall be made responsible
for a money payment to the wife he deserts, and second, that the
matter shall once again be submitted in some fashion to some
magistrate. For my purpose here, it is enough to note that there is
something of the unmistakable savour of the sociology we resist, in
these two touching acts of faith, in a cheque-book and in a lawyer.
Most of the fashionable reformers of marriage would be faintly shocked
at any suggestion that a poor old charwoman might possibly refuse such
money, or that a good kind magistrate might not have the right to give
such advice. For the reformers of marriage are very respectable
people, with some honourable exceptions; and nothing could fit more
smoothly into the rather greasy groove of their respectability than
the suggestion that treason is best treated with the damages,
gentlemen, heavy damages, of Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz; or that tragedy is
best treated by the spiritual arbitrament of Mr. Nupkins. One word
should be added to this hasty sketch of the elements of the case. I
have deliberately left out the loftiest aspect and argument, that
which sees marriage as a divine institution; and that for the logical
reason that those who believe in this would not believe in divorce;
and I am arguing with those who do believe in divorce. I do not ask
them to assume the worth of my creed or any creed; and I could wish
they did not so often ask me to assume the worth of their worthless,
poisonous plutocratic modern society. But if it could be shown, as I
think it can, that a long historical view and a patient political
experience can at last accumulate solid scientific evidence of the
vital need of such a vow, then I can conceive no more tremendous
tribute than this, to any faith, which made a flaming affirmation from
the darkest beginnings, of what the latest enlightenment can only
slowly discover in the end.
The most ancient of human institutions has an authority that may
seem as wild as anarchy. Alone among all such institutions it begins
with a spontaneous attraction; and may be said strictly and not
sentimentally to be founded on love instead of fear. The attempt to
compare it with coercive institutions complicating later history has
led to infinite illogicality in later times. It is as unique as it is
universal. There is nothing in any other social relations in any way
parallel to the mutual attraction of the sexes. By missing this simple
point, the modern world has fallen into a hundred follies. The idea of
a general revolt of women against men has been proclaimed with flags
and processions, like a revolt of vassals against their lords, of
niggers against nigger-drivers, of Poles against Prussians or Irishmen
against Englishmen; for all the world as if we really believed in the
fabulous nation of the Amazons. The equally philosophical idea of a
general revolt of men against women has been put into a romance by Sir
Walter Besant, and into a sociological book by Mr. Belfort Bax. But at
the first touch of this truth of an aboriginal attraction, all such
comparisons collapse and are seen to be comic. A Prussian does not
feel from the first that he can only be happy if he spends his days
and nights with a Pole. An Englishman does not think his house empty
and cheerless unless it happens to contain an Irishman. A white man
does not in his romantic youth dream of the perfect beauty of a black
man. A railway magnate seldom writes poems about the personal
fascination of a railway porter. All the other revolts against all the
other relations are reasonable and even inevitable, because those
relations are originally only founded upon force or self interest.
Force can abolish what force can establish; self-interest can
terminate a contract when self-interest has dictated the contract. But
the love of man and woman is not an institution that can be
abolished, or a contract that can be terminated. It is something older
than all institutions or contracts, and something that is certain to
outlast them all. All the other revolts are real, because there
remains a possibility that the things may be destroyed, or at least
divided. You can abolish capitalists; but you cannot abolish males.
Prussians can go out of Poland or negroes can be repatriated to
Africa; but a man and a woman must remain together in one way or
another; and must learn to put up with each other somehow.
These are very simple truths; that is why nobody nowadays seems to
take any particular notice of them; and the truth that follows next is
equally obvious. There is no dispute about the purpose of Nature in
creating such an attraction. It would be more intelligent to call it
the purpose of God; for Nature can have no purpose unless God is
behind it. To talk of the purpose of Nature is to make a vain attempt
to avoid being anthropomorphic, merely by being feminist. It is
believing in a goddess because you are too sceptical to believe in a
god. But this is a controversy which can be kept apart from the
question, if we content ourselves with saying that the vital value
ultimately found in this attraction is, of course, the renewal of the
race itself. The child is an explanation of the father and mother and
the fact that it is a human child is the explanation of the ancient
human ties connecting the father and mother. The more human, that is
the less bestial, is the child, the more lawful and lasting are the
ties. So far from any progress in culture or the sciences tending to
loosen the bond, any such progress must logically tend to tighten it.
The more things there are for the child to learn, the longer he must
remain at the natural school for learning them; and the longer his
teachers must at least postpone the dissolution of their partnership.
This elementary truth is hidden to-day in vast masses of vicarious, in
direct and artificial work, with the fundamental fallacy of which I
shall deal in a moment. Here I speak of the primary position of the
human group, as it has stood through unthinkable ages of waxing and
waning civilisations; often unable to delegate any of its work, always
unable to delegate all of it. In this, I repeat, it will always be
necessary for the two teachers to remain together, in proportion as
they have anything to teach. One of the shapeless sea-beasts, that
merely detaches itself from its offspring and floats away, could
float away to a submarine divorce court, or an advanced club founded
on free-love for fishes. The sea-beast might do this, precisely
because the sea beast's offspring need do nothing; because it has not
got to learn the polka or the multiplication table. All these are
truisms but they are also truths, and truths that will return; for the
present tangle of semi-official substitutes is not only a stop-gap,
but one that is not big enough to stop the gap. If people cannot mind
their own business, it cannot possibly be made economical to pay them
to mind each other's business; and still less to mind each other's
babies. It is simply throwing away a natural force and then paying for
an artificial force; as if a man were to water a plant with a hose
while holding up an umbrella to protect it from the rain. The whole
really rests on a plutocratic illusion of an infinite supply of
servants. When we offer any other system as a "career for women," we
are really proposing that an infinite number of them should become
servants, of a plutocratic or bureaucratic sort. Ultimately, we are
arguing that a woman should not be a mother to her own baby, but a
nursemaid to somebody else's baby. But it will not work, even on
paper. We cannot all live by taking in each other's washing,
especially in the form of pinafores. In the last resort, the only
people who either can or will give individual care, to each of the
individual children, are their individual parents. The expression as
applied to those dealing with changing crowds of children is a
graceful and legitimate flourish of speech.
This triangle of truisms, of father, mother and child, cannot be
destroyed; it can only destroy those civilisations which disregard it.
Most modern reformers are merely bottomless sceptics, and have no
basis on which to rebuild; and it is well that such reformers should
realise that there is something they cannot reform. You can put down
the mighty from their seat; you can turn the world upside down, and
there is much to be said for the view that it may then be the right
way up. But you cannot create a world in which the baby carries the
mother. You cannot create a world in which the mother has not
authority over the baby. You can waste your time in trying, by giving
votes to babies or proclaiming a republic of infants in arms. You can
say, as an educationist said the other day, that small children should
"criticise, question authority and suspend their judgment." I do not
know why he did not go on to say that they should earn their own
living, pay income tax to the state, and die in battle for the
fatherland; for the proposal evidently is that children shall have no
childhood. But you can, if you find entertainment in such games,
organise "representative government" among little boys and girls, and
tell them to take their legal and constitutional responsibilities as
seriously as possible. In short, you can be crazy; but you cannot be
consistent. You cannot really carry your own principle back to the
aboriginal group, and really apply it to the mother and the baby. You
will not act on your own theory in the simplest and most practical of
all possible cases. You are not quite so mad as that.
This nucleus of natural authority has always existed in the midst
of more artificial authorities. It has always been regarded as
something in the literal sense individual; that is, as an absolute
that could not really be divided. A baby was not even a baby apart
from its mother; it was something else, most probably a corpse. It was
always recognised as standing in a peculiar relation to government;
simply because it was one of the few things that had not been made by
government; and could to some extent come into existence with out the
support of government. Indeed the case for it is too strong to be
stated. For the case for it is that there is nothing like it; and we
can only find faint parallels to it in those more elaborate and
painful powers and institutions that are its inferiors. Thus the only
way of conveying it is to compare it to a nation; although, compared
to it, national divisions are as modern and formal as national
anthems. Thus I may often use the metaphor of a city; though in its
presence a citizen is as recent as a city clerk. It is enough to note
here that everybody does know by intuition and admit by implication
that a family is a solid fact, having a character and colour like a
nation. The truth can be tested by the most modern and most daily
experiences. A man does say "That is the sort of thing the Browns will
like"; however tangled and interminable a psychological novel he might
compose on the shades of difference between Mr. and Mrs. Brown. A
woman does say "I don't like Jemima seeing so much of the Robinsons";
and she does not always, in the scurry of her social or domestic
duties, pause to distinguish the optimistic materialism of Mrs.
Robinson from the more acid cynicism which tinges the hedonism of Mr.
Robinson. There is a colour of the household inside, as conspicuous as
the colour of the house outside. That colour is a blend, and if any
tint in it predominate it is generally that preferred by Mrs.
Robinson. But, like all composite colours, it is a separate colour; as
separate as green is from blue and yellow. Every marriage is a sort of
wild balance; and in every case the compromise is as unique as an
eccentricity. Philanthropists walking in the slums often see the
compromise in the street, and mistake it for a fight. When they
interfere, they are thoroughly thumped by both parties; and serve them
right, for not respecting the very institution that brought them into
the world.
The first thing to see is that this enormous normality is like a
mountain; and one that is capable of being a volcano. Every
abnormality that is now opposed to it is like a mole-hill; and the
earnest sociological organisers of it are exceedingly like moles. But
the mountain is a volcano in another sense also; as suggested in that
tradition of the southern fields fertilised by lava. It has a creative
as well as a destructive side; and it only remains, in this part of
the analysis, to note the political effect of this extra-political
institution, and the political ideals of which it has been the
champion; and perhaps the only permanent champion.
The ideal for which it stands in the state is liberty. It stands
for liberty for the very simple reason with which this rough analysis
started. It is the only one of these institutions that is at once
necessary and voluntary. It is the only check on the state that is
bound to renew itself as eternally as the state, and more naturally
than the state. Every sane man recognises that unlimited liberty is,
anarchy, or rather is nonentity. The civic idea of liberty is to give
the citizen a province of liberty; a limitation within which a citizen
is a king. This is the only way in which truth can ever find refuge
from public persecution, and the good man survive the bad government.
But the good man by himself is no match for the city. There must be
balanced against it another ideal institution, and in that sense an
immortal institution. So long as the state is the only ideal
institution the state will call on the citizen to sacrifice himself,
and therefore will not have the smallest scruple in sacrificing the
citizen. The state consists of coercion; and must always be justified
from its own point of view in extending the bounds of coercion; as,
for instance, in the case of conscription. The only thing that can be
set up to check or challenge this authority is a voluntary law and a
voluntary loyalty. That loyalty is the protection of liberty, in the
only sphere where liberty can fully dwell. It is a principle of the
constitution that the King never dies. It is the whole principle of
the family that the citizen never dies. There must be a heraldry and
heredity of freedom; a tradition of resistance to tyranny. A man must
be not only free, but free-born.
Indeed, there is something in the family that might loosely be
called anarchist; and more correctly called amateur. As there seems
something almost vague about its voluntary origin, so there seems
something vague about its voluntary organisation. The most vital
function it performs, perhaps the most vital function that anything
can perform, is that of education; but its type of early education is
far too essential to be mistaken for instruction. In a thousand things
it works rather by rule of thumb than rule of theory. To take a
commonplace and even comic example, I doubt if any text-book or code
of rules has ever contained any directions about standing a child in a
corner. Doubtless when the modern process is complete, and the
coercive principle of the state has entirely extinguished the
voluntary element of the family, there will be some exact regulation
or restriction about the matter. Possibly it will say that the corner
must be an angle of at least ninety-five degrees. Possibly it will say
that the converging line of any ordinary corner tends to make a child
squint. In fact I am certain that if I said casually, at a sufficient
number of tea-tables, that corners made children squint, it would
rapidly become a universally received dogma of popular science. For
the modern world will accept no dogmas upon any authority; but it will
accept any dogmas on no authority. Say that a thing is so, according
to the Pope or the Bible, and it will be dismissed as a superstition
without examination. But preface your remark merely with "they say" or
"don't you know that?" or try (and fail) to remember the name of some
professor mentioned in some newspaper; and the keen rationalism of the
modern mind will accept every word you say. This parenthesis is not so
irrelevant as it may appear, for it will be well to remember that when
a rigid officialism breaks in upon the voluntary compromises of the
home, that officialism itself will be only rigid in its action and
will be exceedingly limp in its thought. Intellectually it will be at
least as vague as the amateur arrangements of the home, and the only
difference is that the domestic arrangements are in the only real
sense practical, that is, they are founded on experiences that have
been suffered. The others are what is now generally called scientific;
that is, they are founded on experiments that have not yet been made.
As a matter of fact, instead of invading the family with the
blundering bureaucracy that mismanages the public services, it would
be far more philosophical to work the reform the other way round. It
would be really quite as reasonable to alter the laws of the nation so
as to resemble the laws of the nursery. The punishments would be far
less horrible, far more humorous, and far more really calculated to
make men feel they had made fools of themselves. It would be a
pleasant change if a judge, instead of putting on the black cap, had
to put on the dunce's cap; or if we could stand a financier in his own
corner.
Of course this opinion is rare, and reactionary — whatever that may
mean. Modern education is founded on the principle that a parent is
more likely to be cruel than anybody else. It passes over the obvious
fact that he is less likely to be cruel than anybody else. Anybody may
happen to be cruel; but the first chances of cruelty come with the
whole colourless and indifferent crowd of total strangers and
mechanical mercenaries, whom it is now the custom to call in as
infallible agents of improvement; policemen, doctors, detectives,
inspectors, instructors, and so on. They are automatically given
arbitrary power because there are here and there such things as
criminal parents; as if there were no such things as criminal doctors
or criminal school-masters. A mother is not always judicious about her
child's diet, so it is given into the control of Dr. Crippen. A father
is thought not to teach his sons the purest morality; so they are put
under the tutorship of Eugene Aram. These celebrated criminals are no
more rare in their respective professions than the cruel parents are
in the profession of parenthood. But indeed the case is far stronger
than this; and there is no need to rely on the case of such criminals
at all. The ordinary weaknesses of human nature will explain all the
weaknesses of bureaucracy and business government all over the world.
The official need only be an ordinary man to be more indifferent to
other people's children than to his own; and even to sacrifice other
people's family prosperity to his own. He may be bored; he may be
bribed; he may be brutal, for any one of the thousand reasons that
ever made a man a brute. All this elementary common sense is entirely
left out of account in our educational and social systems of today. It
is assumed that the hireling will not flee, and that solely because he
is a hireling. It is denied that the shepherd will lay down his life
for the sheep; or for that matter, even that the she-wolf will fight
for the cubs. We are to believe that mothers are inhuman; but not that
officials are human. There are unnatural parents, but there are no
natural passions; at least, there are none where the fury of King Lear
dared to find them — in the beadle. Such is the latest light on the
education of the young; and the same principle that is applied to the
child is applied to the husband and wife. Just as it assumes that a
child will certainly be loved by anybody except his mother, so it
assumes that a man can be happy with anybody except the one woman he
has himself chosen for his wife.
Thus the coercive spirit of the state prevails over the free
promise of the family, in the shape of formal officialism. But this is
not the most coercive of the coercive elements in the modern
commonwealth An even more rigid and ruthless external power is that of
industrial employment and unemployment. An even more ferocious enemy
of the family is the factory. Between these modern mechanical things
the ancient natural institution is not being reformed or modified or
even cut down; it is being torn in pieces. It is not only being torn
in pieces in the sense of a true metaphor, like a living thing caught
in a hideous clockwork of manufacture. It is being literally torn in
pieces, in that the husband may go to one factory, the wife to
another, and the child to a third. Each will become the servant of a
separate financial group, which is more and more gaining the political
power of a feudal group. But whereas feudalism received the loyalty of
families, the lords of the new servile state will receive only the
loyalty of individuals; that is, of lonely men and even of lost
children.
It is sometimes said that Socialism attacks the family; which is
founded on little beyond the accident that some Socialists believe in
free-love. I have been a Socialist, and I am no longer a Socialist,
and at no time did I believe in free-love. It is true, I think in a
large and unconscious sense, that State Socialism encourages the
general coercive claim I have been considering. But if it be true that
Socialism attacks the family in theory, it is far more certain that
Capitalism attacks it in practice. It is a paradox, but a plain fact,
that men never notice a thing as long as it exists in practice. Men
who will note a heresy will ignore an abuse. Let any one who doubts
the paradox imagine the newspapers formally printing along with the
Honours' List a price list, for peerages and knighthoods; though
everybody knows they are bought and sold. So the factory is destroying
the family in fact; and need depend on no poor mad theorist who dreams
of destroying it in fancy. And what is destroying it is nothing so
plausible as free love; but something rather to be described as an
enforced fear. It is economic punishment more terrible than legal
punishment, which may yet land us in slavery as the only safety.
From its first days in the forest this human group had to fight
against wild monsters; and so it is now fighting against these wild
machines. It only managed to survive then, and it will only manage to
survive now, by a strong internal sanctity; a tacit oath or dedication
deeper than that of the city or the tribe. But though this silent
promise was always present, it took at a certain turning point of our
history a special form which I shall try to sketch in the next
chapter. That turning point was the creation of Christendom by the
religion which created it. Nothing will destroy the sacred triangle;
and even the Christian faith, the most amazing revolution that ever
took place in the mind, served only in a sense to turn that triangle
upside down. It held up a mystical mirror in which the order of the
three things was reversed; and added a holy family of child, mother
and father to the human family of father, mother and child.
Charles Lamb, with his fine fantastic instinct for combinations
that are also contrasts, has noted somewhere a contrast between St.
Valentine and valentines. There seems a comic incongruity in such
lively and frivolous flirtations still depending on the date and title
of an ascetic and celibate bishop of the Dark Ages. The paradox lends
itself to his treatment, and there is a truth in his view of it.
Perhaps it may seem even more of a paradox to say there is no paradox.
In such cases unification appears more provocative than division; and
it may seem idly contradictory to deny the contradiction. And yet in
truth there is no contradiction. In the deepest sense there is a very
real similarity, which puts St. Valentine and his valentines on one
side, and most of the modern world on the other. I should hesitate to
ask even a German professor to collect, collate and study carefully
all the valentines in the world, with the object of tracing a
philosophical principle running through them. But if he did, I have no
doubt about the philosophic principle he would find. However trivial,
however imbecile, however vulgar or vapid or stereotyped the imagery
of such things might be, it would always involve one idea, the same
idea that makes lovers laboriously chip their initials on a tree or a
rock, in a sort of monogram of monogamy. It may be a cockney trick to
tie one's love on a tree; though Orlando did it, and would now
doubtless be arrested by the police for breaking the byelaws of the
Forest of Arden. I am not here concerned especially to commend the
habit of cutting one's own name and private address in large letters
on the front of the Parthenon, across the face of the Sphinx, or in
any other nook or corner where it may chance to arrest the sentimental
interest of posterity. But like many other popular things, of the sort
that can generally be found in Shakespeare, there is a meaning in it
that would probably be missed by a less popular poet, like Shelley.
There is a very permanent truth in the fact that two free persons
deliberately tie themselves to a log of wood. And it is the idea of
tying oneself to something that runs through all this old amorous
allegory like a pattern of fetters. There is always the notion of
hearts chained together, or skewered together, or in some manner
secured; there is a security that can only be called captivity. That
it frequently fails to secure itself has nothing to do with the
present point. The point is that every philosophy of sex must fail,
which does not account for its ambition of fixity, as well as for its
experience of failure. There is nothing to make Orlando commit himself
on the sworn evidence of the nearest tree. He is not bound to be
bound; he is under constraint, but nobody constrains him to be under
constraint. In short, Orlando took a vow to marry precisely as
Valentine took a vow not to marry. Nor could any ascetic, without
being a heretic, have asserted in the wildest reactions of asceticism,
that the vow of Orlando was not lawful as well as the vow of
Valentine. But it is a notable fact that even when it was not lawful,
it was still a vow. Through all that mediaeval culture, which has left
us the legend of romance, there ran this pattern of a chain, which was
felt as binding even where it ought not to bind. The lawless loves of
mediaeval legends all have their own law, and especially their own
loyalty, as in the tales of Tristram or Lancelot. In this sense we
might say that mediaeval profligacy was more fixed than modern
marriage. I am not here discussing either modern or mediaeval ethics,
in the matter of what they did say or ought to say of such things. I
am only noting as a historical fact the insistence of the mediaeval
imagination, even at its wildest, upon one particular idea. That idea
is the idea of the vow. It might be the vow which St. Valentine took;
it might be a lesser vow which he regarded as lawful; it might be a
wild vow which he regarded as quite lawless. But the whole society
which made such festivals and bequeathed to us such traditions was
full of the idea of vows; and we must recognise this notion, even if
we think it nonsensical, as the note of the whole civilisation. And
Valentine and the valentine both express it for us; even more if we
feel them both as exaggerated, or even as exaggerating opposites.
Those extremes meet; and they meet in the same place. Their trysting
place is by the tree on which the lover hung his love-letters. And
even if the lover hung himself on the tree, instead of his literary
compositions, even that act had about it also an indefinable flavour
of finality.
It is often said by the critics of Christian origins that certain
ritual feasts, processions or dances are really of pagan origin. They
might as well say that our legs are of pagan origin. Nobody ever
disputed that humanity was human before it was Christian; and no
Church manufactured the legs with which men walked or danced, either
in a pilgrimage or a ballet. What can really be maintained, so as to
carry not a little conviction, is this: that where such a Church has
existed it has preserved not only the processions but the dances; not
only the cathedral but the carnival. One of the chief claims of
Christian civilisation is to have preserved things of pagan origin. In
short, in the old religious countries men continue to dance; while in
the new scientific cities they are often content to drudge.
But when this saner view of history is realised, there does remain
something more mystical and difficult to define. Even heathen things
are Christian when they have been preserved by Christianity. Chivalry
is something recognisably different even from the virtus of Virgil.
Charity is something exceedingly different from the plain city of
Homer. Even our patriotism is something more subtle than the undivided
lover of the city; and the change is felt in the most permanent
things, such as the love of landscape or the love of woman. To define
the differentiation in all these things will always be hopelessly
difficult. But I would here suggest one element in the change which is
perhaps too much neglected; which at any rate ought not to be
neglected; the nature of a vow. I might express it by saying that
pagan antiquity was the age of status; that Christian mediaevalism was
the age of vows; and that sceptical modernity has been the age of
contracts; or rather has tried to be, and has failed.
The outstanding example of status was slavery. Needless to say
slavery does not mean tyranny; indeed it need only be regarded
relatively to other things to be regarded as charity. The idea of
slavery is that large numbers of men are meant and made to do the
heavy work of the world, and that others, while taking the margin of
profits, must nevertheless support them while they do it. The point is
not whether the work is excessive or moderate, or whether the
condition is comfortable or uncomfortable. The point is that his work
is chosen for the man, his status fixed for the man; and this status
is forced on him by law. As Mr. Balfour said about Socialism, that is
slavery and nothing else is slavery. The slave might well be, and
often was, far more comfortable than the average free labourer, and
certainly far more lazy than the average peasant. He was a slave
because he had not reached his position by choice, or promise, or
bargain, but merely by status.
It is admitted that when Christianity had been for some time at
work in the world, this ancient servile status began in some
mysterious manner to disappear. I suggest here that one of the forms
which the new spirit took was the importance of the vow. Feudalism,
far instance, differed from slavery chiefly because feudalism was a
vow. The vassal put his hands in those of his lord, and vowed to be
his man; but there was an accent on the noun substantive as well as on
the possessive pronoun. By swearing to be his man, he proved he was
not his chattel. Nobody exacts a promise from a pickaxe, or expects a
poker to swear everlasting friendship with the tongs. Nobody takes the
word of a spade; and nobody ever took the word of a slave. It marks at
least a special stage of transition that the form of freedom was
essential to the fact of service, or even of servitude. In this way it
is not a coincidence that the word homage actually means manhood. And
if there was vow instead of status even in the static parts of
Feudalism, it is needless to say that there was a wilder luxuriance of
vows in the more adventurous part of it. The whole of what we call
chivalry was one great vow. Vows of chivalry varied infinitely from
the most solid to the most fantastic; from a vow to give all the
spoils of conquest to the poor to a vow to refrain from shaving until
the first glimpse of Jerusalem. As I have remarked, this rule of
loyalty, even in the unruly exceptions which proved the rule, ran
through all the romances and songs of the troubadours; and there were
always vows even when they were very far from being marriage vows. The
idea is as much present in what they called the Gay Science, of love,
as in what they called the Divine Science, of theology. The modern
reader will smile at the mention of these things as sciences; and will
turn to the study of sociology, ethnology and psycho-analysis; for if
these are sciences (about which I would not divulge a doubt) at least
nobody would insult them by calling them either gay or divine.
I mean here to emphasise the presence, and not even to settle the
proportion, of this new notion in the middle ages. But the critic will
be quite wrong if he thinks it enough to answer that all these things
affected only a cultured class, not corresponding to the servile class
of antiquity. When we come to workmen and small tradesmen, we find the
same vague yet vivid presence of the spirit that can only be called
the vow. In this sense there was a chivalry of trades as well as a
chivalry of orders of knighthood; just as there was a heraldry of
shop-signs as well as a heraldry of shields. Only it happens that in
the enlightenment and liberation of the sixteenth century, the
heraldry of the rich was preserved, and the heraldry of the poor
destroyed. And there is a sinister symbolism in the fact that almost
the only emblem still hung above a shop is that of the three balls of
Lombardy. Of all those democratic glories nothing can now glitter in
the sun; except the sign of the golden usury that has devoured them
all. The point here, however, is that the trade or craft had not only
something like the crest, but something like the vow of knighthood.
There was in the position of the guildsman the same basic notion that
belonged to knights and even to monks. It was the notion of the free
choice of a fixed estate. We can realise the moral atmosphere if we
compare the system of the Christian guilds, not only with the status
of the Greek and Roman slaves, but with such a scheme as that of the
Indian castes. The oriental caste has some of the qualities of the
occidental guild; especially the valuable quality of tradition and the
accumulation of culture. Men might be proud of their castes, as they
were proud of their guilds. But they had never chosen their castes, as
they have chosen their guilds. They had never, within historic memory,
even collectively created their castes, as they collectively created
their guilds. Like the slave system, the caste system was older than
history. The heathens of Modern Asia, as much as the heathens of
ancient Europe, lived by the very spirit of status. Status in a trade
has been accepted like status in a tribe; and that in a tribe of
beasts and birds rather than men. The fisherman continued to be a
fisherman as the fish continued to be a fish; and the hunter would no
more turn into a cook than his dog would try its luck as a cat.
Certainly his dog would not be found prostrated before the mysterious
altar of Pasht, barking or whining a wild, lonely, and individual vow
that he at all costs would become a cat. Yet that was the vital revolt
and innovation of vows, as compared with castes or slavery; as when a
man vowed to be a monk, or the son of a cobbler saluted the shrine of
St. Joseph, the patron saint of carpenters. When he had entered the
guild of the carpenters he did indeed find himself responsible for a
very real loyalty and discipline; but the whole social atmosphere
surrounding his entrance was full of the sense of a separate and
personal decision. There is one place where we can still find this
sentiment; the sentiment of something at once free and final. We can
feel it, if the service is properly understood, before and after the
marriage vows at any ordinary wedding in any ordinary church.
Such, in very vague outline, has been the historical nature of
vows; and the unique part they played in that mediaeval civilisation
out of which modern civilisation rose — or fell. We can now consider,
a little less cloudily than it is generally considered nowadays,
whether we really think vows are good things; whether they ought to be
broken; and (as would naturally follow) whether they ought to be made.
But we can never judge it fairly till we face, as I have tried to
suggest, this main fact of history; that the personal pledge, feudal
or civic or monastic, was the way in which the world did escape from
the system of slavery in the past. For the modern breakdown of mere
contract leaves it still doubtful if there be any other way of
escaping it in the future.
The idea, or at any rate the ideal, of the thing called a vow is
fairly obvious. It is to combine the fixity that goes with finality
with the self-respect that only goes with freedom. The man is a slave
who is his own master, and a king who is his own ancestor. For all
kinds of social purposes he has the calculable orbit of the man in
the caste or the servile state; but in the story of his own soul he is
still pursuing, at great peril, his own adventure. As seen by his
neighbours, he is as safe as if immured in a fortress; but as seen by
himself he may be forever careering through the sky or crashing
towards the earth in a flying-ship. What is socially humdrum is
produced by what is individually heroic; and a city is made not merely
of citizens but knight-errants. It is needless to point out the part
played by the monastery in civilising Europe in its most barbaric
interregnum; and even those who still denounce the monasteries will be
found denouncing them for these two extreme and apparently opposite
eccentricities. They are blamed for the rigid character of their
collective routine; and also for the fantastic character of their
individual fanaticism. For the purposes of this part of the argument,
it would not matter if the marriage vow produced the most austere
discomforts of the monastic vow. The point for the present is that it
was sustained by a sense of free will; and the feeling that its evils
were not accepted but chosen. The same spirit ran through all the
guilds and popular arts and spontaneous social systems of the whole
civilisation. It had all the discipline of an army; but it was an army
of volunteers.
The civilisation of wows was broken up when Henry the Eighth broke
his own vow of marriage. Or rather, it was broken up by a new cynicism
in the ruling powers of Europe, of which that was the almost
accidental expression in England. The monasteries, that had been built
by vows, were destroyed. The guilds, that had been regiments of
volunteers were dispersed. The sacramental nature of marriage was
denied; and many of the greatest intellects of the new movement, like
Milton, already indulged in a very modern idealisation of divorce. The
progress of this sort of emancipation advanced step by step with the
progress of that aristocratic ascendancy which has made the history of
modern England; with all its sympathy with personal liberty, and all
its utter lack of sympathy with popular life. Marriage not only became
less of a sacrament but less of a sanctity. It threatened to become
not only a contract, but a contract that could not be kept. For this
one question has retained a strange symbolic supremacy amid all the
similar questions, which seems to perpetuate the coincidence of the
origin. It began with divorce for a king; and it is now ending in
divorces for a whole kingdom.
The modern era that followed can be called the era of contract; but
it can still more truly be called the era of leonine contract. The
nobles of the new time first robbed the people, and then offered to
bargain with them. It would not be an exaggeration to say that they
first robbed the people, and then offered to cheat them. For their
rents were competitive rents, their economics competitive economics,
their ethics competitive ethics; they applied not only legality but
pettifogging. No more was heard of the customary rents of the
mediaeval estates; just as no more was heard of the standard wages of
the mediaeval guilds. The object of the whole process was to isolate
the individual poor man in his dealings with the individual rich man;
and then offer to buy and sell with him, though it must necessarily be
himself that was bought and sold. In the matter of labour, that is,
though a man was supposed to be in the position of a seller, he was
more and more really in the possession of a slave. Unless the tendency
be reversed, he will probably become admittedly a slave. That is to
say, the word slave will never be used; for it is always easy to find
an inoffensive word; but he will be admittedly a man legally bound to
certain social service, in return for economic security. In other
words, the modern experiment of mere contract has broken down. Trusts
as well as Trades' Unions express the fact that it has broken down.
Social reform, Socialism, Guild Socialism, Syndicalism, even organised
philanthropy, are so many ways of saying that it has broken down. The
substitute for it may be the old one of status; but it must be
something having some of the stability of status. So far history has
found only one way of combining that sort of stability with any sort
of liberty. In this sense there is a meaning in the much misused
phrase about the army of industry. But the army must be stiffened
either by the discipline of conscripts or by the vows of volunteers.
If we may extend the doubtful metaphor of an army of industry to
cover the yet weaker phrase about captains of industry, there is no
doubt about what those captains at present command. They work for a
centralised discipline in every department. They erect a vast
apparatus of supervision and inspection; they support all the modern
restrictions touching drink and hygiene. They may be called the
friends of temperance or even of happiness; but even their friends
would not call them the friends of freedom. There is only one form of
freedom which they tolerate; and that is the sort of sexual freedom
which is covered by the legal fiction of divorce. If we ask why this
liberty is alone left, when so many liberties are lost, we shall find
the answer in the summary of this chapter. They are trying to break
the vow of the knight as they broke the vow of the monk. They
recognise the vow as the vital antithesis to servile status, the
alternative and therefore the antagonist. Marriage makes a small state
within the state, which resists all such regimentation. That bond
breaks all other bonds; that law is found stronger than all later and
lesser laws. They desire the democracy to be sexually fluid, because
the making of small nuclei is like the making of small nations. Like
small nations, they are a nuisance to the mind of imperial scope. In
short, what they fear, in the most literal sense, is home rule.
Men can always be blind to a thing so long as it is big enough. It
is so difficult to see the world in which we live, that I know that
many will see all I have said here of slavery as a nonsensical
nightmare. But if my association of divorce with slavery seems only a
far-fetched and theoretical paradox, I should have no difficulty in
replacing it by a concrete and familiar picture. Let them merely
remember the time when they read "Uncle Tom's Cabin," and ask
themselves whether the oldest and simplest of the charges against
slavery has not always been the breaking up of families.
There is one view very common among the liberal-minded which is
exceedingly fatiguing to the clear-headed. It is symbolised in the
sort of man who says, "These ruthless bigots will refuse to bury me in
consecrated ground, because I have always refused to be baptised." A
clear-headed person can easily conceive his point of view, in so far
as he happens to think that baptism does not matter. But the
clear-headed will be completely puzzled when they ask themselves why,
if he thinks that baptism does not matter, he should think that burial
does matter. If it is in no way imprudent for a man to keep himself
from a consecrated font, how can it be inhuman for other people to
keep him from a consecrated field? It is surely much nearer to mere
superstition to attach importance to what is done to a dead body than
to a live baby. 1 can understand a man thinking both superstitious. or
both sacred; but I cannot see why he should grumble that other people
do not give him as sanctities what he regards as superstitions. He is
merely complaining of being treated as what he declares himself to be.
It is as if a man were to say, "My persecutors still refuse to make me
king, out of mere malice because I am a strict republican." Or it is
as if he said, "These heartless brutes are so prejudiced against a
teetotaler, that they won't even give him a glass of brandy."
The fashion of divorce would not be a modern fashion if it were not
full of this touching fallacy. A great deal of it might be summed up
as a most illogical and fanatical appetite for getting married in
churches. It is as if a man should practice polygamy out of sheer
greed for wedding cake. Or it is as if he provided his household with
new shoes, entirely by having them thrown after the wedding carriage
when he went off with a new wife. There are other ways of procuring
cake or purchasing shoes; and there are other ways of setting up a
human establishment. What is unreasonable is the request which the
modern man really makes of the religious institutions of his fathers
The modern man wants to buy one shoe without the other; to obtain one
half of a supernatural revelation without the other. The modern man
wants to eat his wedding cake and have it, too.
I am not basing this book on the religious argument, and therefore
I will not pause to inquire why the old Catholic institutions of
Christianity seem to be especially made the objects of these
unreasonable complaints. As a matter of fact nobody does propose that
some ferocious Anti-Semite like M. Drumont should be buried as a Jew
with all the rites of the Synagogue. But the broad-minded were furious
because Tolstoi, who had denounced Russian orthodoxy quite as
ferociously, was not buried as orthodox, with all the rites of the
Russian Church. Nobody does insist that a man who wishes to have fifty
wives when Mahomet allowed him five must have his fifty with the full
approval of Mahomet's religion. But the broad-minded are extremely
bitter because a Christian who wishes to have several wives when his
own promise bound him to one, is not allowed to violate his vow at the
same altar at which he made it. Nobody does insist on Baptists totally
immersing people who totally deny the advantages of being totally
immersed. Nobody ever did expect Mormons to receive the open mockers
of the Book of Mormon, nor Christian Scientists to let their churches
be used for exposing Mrs. Eddy as an old fraud. It is only of the
forms of Christianity making the Catholic claim that such inconsistent
claims are made. And even the inconsistency is, I fancy, a tribute to
the acceptance of the Catholic idea in a catholic fashion. It may be
that men have an obscure sense that nobody need belong to the Mormon
religion and every one does ultimately belong to the Church; and
though he may have made a few dozen Mormon marriages in a wandering
and entertaining life, he will really have nowhere to go to if he does
not somehow find his way back to the churchyard. But all this concerns
the general theological question and not the matter involved here,
which is merely historical and social. The point here is that it is at
least superficially inconsistent to ask institutions for a formal
approval, which they can only give by inconsistency.
I have put first the question of what is marriage. And we are now
in a position to ask more clearly what is divorce. It is not merely
the negation or neglect of marriage; for any one can always neglect
marriage. It is not the dissolution of the legal obligation of
marriage, or even the legal obligation of monogamy; for the simple
reason that no such obligation exists. Any man in modern London may
have a hundred wives if he does not call them wives; or rather, if he
does not go through certain more or less mystical ceremonies in order
to assert that they are wives. He might create a certain social
coolness round his household, a certain fading of his general
popularity. But that is not created by law, and could not be prevented
by law. As the late Lord Salisbury very sensibly observed about
boycotting in Ireland, "How can you make a law to prevent people going
out of the room when somebody they don't like comes into it?" We
cannot be forcibly introduced to a polygamist by a policeman. It would
not be an assertion of social liberty, but a denial of social liberty,
if we found ourselves practically obliged to associate with all the
profligates in society. But divorce is not in this sense mere anarchy.
On the contrary divorce is in this sense respectability; and even a
rigid excess of respectability. Divorce in this sense might indeed be
not unfairly called snobbery. The definition of divorce, which
concerns us here, is that it is the attempt to give respectability,
and not liberty. It is the attempt to give a certain social status,
and not a legal status. It is indeed supposed that this can be done by
the alteration of certain legal forms; and this will be more or less
true according to the extent to which law as such overawed public
opinion, or was valued as a true expression of public opinion. If a
man divorced in the large-minded fashion of Henry the Eighth pleaded
his legal title among the peasantry of Ireland, for instance, I think
he would find a difference still existing between respectability and
religion. But the peculiar point here is that many are claiming the
sanction of religion as well as of respectability. They would attach
to their very natural and sometimes very pardonable experiments a
certain atmosphere, and even glamour, which has undoubtedly belonged
to the status of marriage in historic Christendom. But before they
make this attempt, it would be well to ask why such a dignity ever
appeared or in what it consisted. And I fancy we shall find ourselves
confronted with the very simple truth, that the dignity arose wholly
and entirely out of the fidelity; and that the glamour merely came
from the vow. People were regarded as having a certain dignity because
they were dedicated in a certain way; as bound to certain duties and,
if it be preferred, to certain discomforts. It may be irrational to
endure these discomforts; it may even be irrational to respect them.
But it is certainly much more irrational to respect them, and then
artificially transfer the same respect to the absence of them It is as
if we were to expect uniforms to be saluted when armies were
disbanded; and ask people to cheer a soldier's coat when it did not
contain a soldier. If you think you can abolish war, abolish it; but
do not suppose that when there are no wars to be waged, there will
still be warriors to be worshipped. If it was a good thing that the
monasteries were dissolved, let us say so and dismiss them. But the
nobles who dissolved the monasteries did not shave their heads, and
ask to be regarded as saints solely on account of that ceremony. The
nobles did not dress up as abbots and ask to be credited with a
potential talent for working miracles, because of the austerity of
their vows of poverty and chastity. They got inside the houses, but
not the hoods, and still less the haloes. They at least knew that it
is not the habit that makes the monk. They were not so superstitious
as those moderns, who think it is the veil that makes the bride.
What is respected, in short, is the fidelity to the ancient flag of
the family, and a readiness to fight for what I have noted as its
unique type of freedom. I say readiness to fight, for fortunately the
fight itself is the exception rather than the rule. The soldier is not
respected because he is doomed to death, but because he is ready for
death; and even ready for defeat. The married man or woman is not
doomed to evil, sickness or poverty; but is respected for taking a
certain step for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness
or in health. But there is one result of this line of argument which
should correct a danger in some arguments on the same side.
It is very essential that a stricture on divorce, which is in fact
simply a defence of marriage, should be independent of sentimentalism,
especially in the form called optimism. A man justifying a fight for
national independence or civic freedom is neither sentimental nor
optimistic. He explains the sacrifice, but he does not explain it
away. He does not say that bayonet wounds are pin-pricks, or mere
scratches of the thorns on a rose of pleasure. He does not say that
the whole display of firearms is a festive display of fireworks. On
the contrary, when he praises it most, he praises it as pain rather
than pleasure. He increases the praise with the pain; it is his whole
boast that militarism, and even modern science, can produce no
instrument of torture to tame the soul of man. It is idle, in speaking
of war, to pit the realistic against the romantic, in the sense of the
heroic; for all possible realism can only increase the heroism; and
therefore, in the highest sense, increase the romance. Now I do not
compare marriage with war, but I do compare marriage with law or
liberty or patriotism or popular government, or any of the human
ideals which have often to be defended by war. Even the wildest of
those ideals, which seem to escape from all the discipline of peace,
do not escape from the discipline of war. The Bolshevists may have
aimed at pure peace and liberty; but they have been compelled, for
their own purpose, first to raise armies and then to rule armies. In a
word, how ever beautiful you may think your own visions of beatitude,
men must suffer to be beautiful, and even suffer a considerable
interval of being ugly. And I have no notion of denying that mankind
suffers much from the maintenance of the standard of marriage; as it
suffers much from the necessity of criminal law or the recurrence of
crusades and revolutions. The only question here is whether marriage
is indeed, as I maintain, an ideal and an institution making for
popular freedom; I do not need to be told that anything making for
popular freedom has to be paid for in vigilance and pain, and a whole
army of martyrs.
Hence I am far indeed from denying the hard cases which exist here,
as in all matters involving the idea of honour. For indeed I could not
deny them without denying the whole parallel of militant morality on
which my argument rests. But this being first understood, it will be
well to discuss in a little more detail what are described as the
tragedies of marriage. And the first thing to note about the most
tragic of them is that they are not tragedies of marriage at all They
are tragedies of sex; and might easily occur in a highly modern
romance in which marriage was not mentioned at all. It is generally
summarised by saying that the tragic element is the absence of love.
But it is often forgotten that another tragic element is often the
presence of love. The doctors of divorce, with an air of the frank and
friendly realism of men of the world, are always recommending and
rejoicing in a sensible separation by mutual consent. But if we are
really to dismiss our dreams of dignity and honour, if we are really
to fall back on the frank realism of our experience as men of the
world, then the very first thing that our experience will tell us is
that it very seldom is a separation by mutual consent; that is, that
the consent very seldom is sincerely and spontaneously mutual. By far
the commonest problem in such cases is that in which one party wishes
to end the partnership and the other does not. And of that emotional
situation you can make nothing but a tragedy, whichever way you turn
it. With or without marriage, with or without divorce, with or without
any arrangements that anybody can suggest or imagine, it remains a
tragedy. The only difference is that by the doctrine of marriage it
remains both a noble and a fruitful tragedy; like that of a man who
falls fighting for his country, or dies testifying to the truth. But
the truth is that the innovators have as much sham optimism about
divorce as any romanticist can have had about marriage. They regard
their story, when it ends in the divorce court, through as rosy a mist
of sentimentalism as anybody ever regarded a story ending with wedding
bells. Such a reformer is quite sure that when once the prince and
princess are divorced by the fairy godmother, they will live happily
ever after. I enjoy romance, but I like it to be rooted in reality;
and any one with a touch of reality knows that nine couples out of
ten, when they are divorced, are left in an exceedingly different
state. It will be safe to say in most cases that one partner will fail
to find happiness in an infatuation, and the other will from the first
accept a tragedy. In the realm of reality and not romance, it is
commonly a case of breaking hearts as well as breaking promises; and
even dishonour is not always a remedy for remorse.
The next limitation to be laid down in the matter affects certain
practical forms of discomforts on a level rather lower than love or
hatred. The cases most commonly quoted concern what is called "drink"
and what is called "cruelty." They are always talked about as matters
of fact; though in practice they are very decidedly matters of
opinion. It is not a flippancy, but a fact, that the misfortune of the
woman who has married a drunkard may have to be balanced against the
misfortune of the man who has married a teetotaler. For the very
definition of drunkenness may depend on the dogma of teetotalism.
Drunkenness, it has been very truly observed, "may mean anything from
delirium tremens to having a stronger head than the official appointed
to conduct the examination." Mr Bernard Shaw once professed,
apparently seriously, that any man drinking wine or beer at all was
incapacitated from managing a motorcar; and still more, therefore, one
would suppose, from managing a wife. The scales are weighted here, of
course, with all those false weights of snobbishness which are the
curse of justice in this country. The working class is forced to
conduct almost in public a normal and varying festive habit, which the
upper class can afford to conduct in private; and a certain section of
the middle class, that which happens to concern it self most with
local politics and social reforms, really has or affects a standard
quite abnormal and even alien. They might go any lengths of injustice
in dealing with the working man or working woman accused of too hearty
a taste in beer. To mention but one matter out of a thousand, the
middle class reformers are obviously quite ignorant of the hours at
which working people begin to work. Because they themselves, at eleven
o'clock in the morning, have only recently finished breakfast and the
full moral digestion of the Daily Mail, they think a char-woman
drinking beer at that hour is one of those arising early in the
morning to follow after strong drink. Most of them really do not know
that she has already done more than half a heavy day's work, and is
partaking of a very reasonable luncheon. The whole problem of
proletarian drink is entangled in a network of these
misunderstandings; and there is no doubt whatever that, when judged by
these generalisations, the poor will be taken in a net of injustices.
And this truth is as certain in the case of what is called cruelty as
of what is called drink. Nine times out of ten the judgment on a navvy
for hitting a woman is about as just as a judgment on him for not
taking off his hat to a lady. It is a class test; it may be a class
superiority; but it is not an act of equal justice between the
classes. It leaves out a thousand things; the provocation, the
atmosphere, the harassing restrictions of space, the nagging which
Dickens described as the terrors of "temper in a cart," the absence of
certain taboos of social training, the tradition of greater roughness
even in the gestures of affection. To make all marriage or divorce, in
the case of such a man, turn upon a blow is like blasting the whole
life of a gentleman because he has slammed the door. Often a poor man
cannot slam the door; partly because the model villa might fall down;
but more because he has nowhere to go to; the smoking-room, the
billiard room and the peacock music-room not being yet attached to his
premises.
I say this in passing, to point out that while I do not dream of
suggesting that there are only happy marriages, there will quite
certainly, as things work nowadays, be a very large number of unhappy
and unjust divorces. They will be cases in which the innocent partner
will receive the real punishment of the guilty partner, through being
in fact and feeling the faithful partner. For instance, it is insisted
that a married person must at least find release from the society of a
lunatic; but it is also true that the scientific reformers, with their
fuss about "the feeble-minded," are continually giving larger and
looser definitions of lunacy. The process might begin by releasing
somebody from a homicidal maniac, and end by dealing in the same way
with a rather dull conversationalist. But in fact nobody does deny
that a person should be allowed some sort of release from a homicidal
maniac. The most extreme school of orthodoxy only maintains that
anybody who has had that experience should be content with that
release. In other words, it says he should be content with that
experience of matrimony, and not seek another. It was put very
wittily, I think, by a Roman Catholic friend of mine, who said he
approved of release so long as it was not spelt with a hyphen.
To put it roughly, we are prepared in some cases to listen to the
man who complains of having a wife. But we are not prepared to listen,
at such length, to the same man when he comes back and complains that
he has not got a wife. Now in practice at this moment the great mass
of the complaints are precisely of this kind. The reformers insist
particularly on the pathos of a man's position when he has obtained a
separation without a divorce. Their most tragic figure is that of the
man who is already free of all those ills he had, and is only asking
to be allowed to fly to others that he knows not of. I should be the
last to deny that, in certain emotional circumstances, his tragedy may
be very tragic indeed. But his tragedy is of the emotional kind which
can never be entirely eliminated; and which he has himself, in all
probability, inflicted on the partner he has left. We may call it the
price of maintaining an ideal or the price of making a mistake; but
anyhow it is the point of our whole distinction in the matter; it is
here that we draw the line, and I have nowhere denied that it is a
line of battle. The battle joins on the debatable ground, not of the
man's doubtful past but of his still more doubtful future. In a word,
the divorce controversy is not really a controversy about divorce. It
is a controversy about re-marriage; or rather about whether it is
marriage at all.
And with that we can only return to the point of honour which I
have compared here to a point of patriotism; since it is both the
smallest and the greatest kind of patriotism. Men have died in
torments during the last five years for points of patriotism far more
dubious and fugitive. Men like the Poles or the Serbians, through long
periods of their history, may be said rather to have lived in
torments. I will never admit that the vital need of the freedom of the
family, as I have tried to sketch it here, is not a cause as valuable
as the freedom of any frontier. But I do willingly admit that the
cause would be a dark and terrible one, if it really asked these men
to suffer torments. As I have stated it, on its most extreme terms, it
only asks them to suffer abnegations. And those negative sufferings I
do think they may honourably be called upon to bear, for the glory of
their own oath and the great things by which the nations live. In
relation to their own nation most normal men will feel that this
distinction between release and "re-lease" is neither fanciful nor
harsh, but very rational and human. A patriot may be an exile in
another country; but be will not be a patriot of another country. He
will be as cheerful as he can in an abnormal position; he may or may
not sing his country's songs in a strange land; but he will not sing
the strange songs as his own. And such may fairly be also the attitude
of the citizen who has gone into exile from the oldest of earthly
cities.
The case for divorce combines all the advantages of having it both
ways; and of drawing the same deduction from right or left, and from
black or white. Whichever way the programme works in practice, it can
still be justified in theory. If there are few examples of divorce, it
shows how little divorce need be dreaded; if there are many, it shows
how much it is required. The rarity of divorce is an argument in
favour of divorce; and the multiplicity of divorce is an argument
against marriage. Now, in truth, if we were confined to considering
this alternative in a speculative manner, if there were no concrete
facts but only abstract probabilities, we should have no difficulty in
arguing our case. The abstract liberty allowed by the reformers is as
near as possible to anarchy, and gives no logical or legal guarantee
worth discussing. The advantages of their reform do not accrue to the
innocent party, but to the guilty party; especially if he be
sufficiently guilty. A man has only to commit the crime of desertion
to obtain the reward of divorce. And if they are entitled to take as
typical the most horrible hypothetical cases of the abuse of the
marriage laws, surely we are entitled to take equally extreme
possibilities in the abuse of their own divorce laws. If they, when
looking about for a husband, so often hit upon a homicidal maniac,
surely we may politely introduce them to the far more human figure of
the gentleman who marries as many women as he likes and gets rid of
them as often as he pleases. But in fact there is no necessity for us
to argue thus in the abstract; for the amiable gentleman in question
undoubtedly exists in the concrete. Of course, he is no new figure; he
is a very recurrent type of rascal; his name has been Lothario or Don
Juan; and he has often been represented as a rather romantic rascal.
The point of divorce reform, it cannot be too often repeated, is that
the rascal should not only be regarded as romantic, but regarded as
respectable. He is not to sow his wild oats and settle down; he is
merely to settle down to sowing his wild oats. They are to be regarded
as tame and inoffensive oats; almost, if one may say so, as Quaker
oats. But there is no need, as I say, to speculate about whether the
looser view of divorce might prevail; for it is already prevailing.
The newspapers are full of an astonishing hilarity about the rapidity
with which hundreds or thousands of human families are being broken up
by the lawyers; and about the undisguised haste of the "hustling
judges" who carry on the work. It is a form of hilarity which would
seem to recall the gaiety of a grave-digger in a city swept by a
pestilence. But a few details occasionally flash by in the happy
dance; from time to time the court is moved by a momentary curiosity
about the causes of the general violation of oaths and promises; as if
there might, here and there, be a hint of some sort of reason for
ruining the fundamental institution of society. And nobody who notes
those details, or considers those faint hints of reason, can doubt for
a moment that masses of these men and women are now simply using
divorce in the spirit of free-love. They are very seldom the sort of
people who have once fallen tragically into the wrong place, and have
now found their way triumphantly to the right place. They are almost
always people who are obviously wandering from one place to another,
and will probably leave their last shelter exactly as they have left
their first. But it seems to amuse them to make again, if possible in
a church, a promise they have already broken in practice and almost
avowedly disbelieve in principle.
In face of this headlong fashion, it is really reasonable to ask
the divorce reformers what is their attitude towards the old
monogamous ethic of our civilisation; and whether they wish to retain
it in general, or to retain it at all. Unfortunately even the
sincerest and most lucid of them use language which leaves the matter
a little doubtful. Mr. E. S. P. Haynes is one of the most brilliant
and most fair-minded controversialists on that side; and he has said,
for instance, that he agrees with me in supporting the ideal of
indissoluble or, at least, of undissolved marriage. Mr. Haynes is one
of the few friends of divorce who are also real friends of democracy;
and I am sure that in practice this stands for a real sympathy with
the home, especially the poor home. Unfortunately, on the theoretic
side, the word "ideal" is far from being an exact term, and is open to
two almost opposite interpretations. For many would say that marriage
is an ideal as some would say that monasticism is an ideal, in the
sense of a counsel of perfection. Now certainly we might preserve a
conjugal ideal in this way. A man might be reverently pointed out in
the street as a sort of saint, merely because he was married. A man
might wear a medal for monogamy; or have letters after his name
similar to V.C. or D.D.; let us say L.W. for "Lives With His Wife, "
or "N.D.Y. for "Not Divorced Yet." We might, on entering some strange
city, be struck by a stately column erected to the memory of a wife
who never ran away with a soldier, or the shrine and image of a
historical character, who had resisted the example of the man in the
"New Witness" ballade in bolting with the children's nurse. Such high
artistic hagiology would be quite consistent with Mr. Haynes' divorce